Re-doing past

Today, my voice was stammering even though I was happy, i was in the air yet I was stable. A day where each and every pair of eyes stared as like I was the only star in the dark night,but this night didn't happen all of a sudden. It came as a surprise after a series of nightmares.
How could I forget those screams that reminded me of how dark I could be among those dead stones who are on top of world still happen to lie as most useless ones.

Standing here today looks like the world has stopped walking, they are still surprised and wondering how could such a normal person become the best of all. But its difficult for them to understand, to stand apart you don't have to be different, you just have to be better.

I still remember the day when the principal stood on this stage, announcing my name as the most in-disciplined and useless student of college. I was standing at the last row and according to everyone I should have been feeling embarrassing, but I hardly even understood meaning of such words. Those were golden years, each & every memory i have of it is precious. I was lot more amazing than the description of principal, nobody could tolerate me apart from my few friends and mom. So that kept encouraging me to be more significant.

It was only after the college gates closed, I stood outside holding my graduation letter with my chest swollen as if I have won something so great that couldn't be replaced. Though I hardly noticed, but even while walking home from the last day of college I was laughing stock for many, I guess that's the reason my friends also stopped hanging out with me. At the end of the day, it was me, I said to myself "Who cares, I still have mom to show this letter to!"
I ran to her, to see my house empty and open as if something priceless has left it. Mind kept saying, "Mom doesn't do this", "Where is mom" were my only words to the neighbors.

It changed it all, what looked like breeze turned out to be a hurricane. I was trapped and I had no one to grab to pull myself out, I felt as if this could be a nightmare but it turned my life into a nightmare, one that lasted longer than just a night.

But even the darkest night has a bright morning and mine was just a series of nightmares, but now i cared, i cared enough to bring change. Though the clock ticks were same but time was not, situation became tougher so did I. And through the dark clouds I walked directly to this stage today exactly after 10 years to face everyone and smile together. May be that's what mom meant, "Laugh can be infectious if you can't smile together!"
As always, she was the only one who understood me. 

She isn't here, but for me she will be omnipresent always.